Why are so many marriages failing?

Why are so many marriages failing?

It’s twelve midnight and Cinderella’s shoe has fallen, but how many men would stop now days to pick it up. There’s a big ball going on out there but who’s invited? What is the criterion for the ball list? Tall, lean, busty, handsome, blonde or brunette how many of us really fall short of the list? They say that beauty is skin deep. But is there more to it than meets the eye, even Cinderella was transformed before going to the ball. She certainly didn’t show up in her old tattered clothes. Has society really placed such importance on the superficial exterior of our beings?

Wedding Bells are ringing but what are the chimes saying, “Ding Dong” or “something’s wrong.” For better or for worse is soon to be transformed into, for better or sex better”. What happened to commitment and lifelong companionship and trustworthy values and morals? Has society misplaced marriage and in its stead brought out the value system where a scale rating for the next best thing is what is expected. Has sex taken over the very mighty principles of a stead fast relationship?

It is estimated that 40-50% of all marriages will end in divorce. Are you still reading? This is almost half if not more. There are many different factors for divorce, marrying at an early age, lack of commitment, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, infidelity, lack of equality, lack of respect and in some cases abuse of one’s partner. There are many marriages that go through trial and tribulations and with good sound counseling they are back on track in their marriages more committed than ever. Divorce is at times necessary, and it may even be crucial for one’s well being and safety.

Interestingly enough when couples were asked in a survey how they felt about their divorce a number of individuals reported that they had wished that their spouse had tried harder to work things out. Although divorce is sometimes inevitable parents do have the responsibility to do all they can to preserve and repair a failed marriage for the sake of children. Now with that said, what about the preservation of our own selves, if there are no children in a marriage are we ourselves not worthy to be fought for or preserved?

 Infidelity is one of highest factors for divorce in our country, with one or both spouses having been sexually unfaithful in the marriage. Do we really live in a sexually tolerant society where being faithful is the minority and having relationships outside marriage has become the common drive thru? Has sex become such a common staple that we can line up in a drive thru in a Tim Horton’s Coffee shop and get one on the run; or choose the new flavor of the month? Infidelity is morally wrong but so is a lack of commitment or lack of caring, or with holding affection.

Have we as a society stopped believing in fairytales? Metaphorically speaking, did Cinderella lose more than a shoe; did Prince charming simply forget what side of the greener grass to look for it? A Marriage is a relationship which is built on a solid respectful friendship that meets the needs of two people, the joining of a non disputable bond of “until death do us part”. So how do you manage the problems that arise in marriage? We need to remember that marriage is a union of a man and a woman who make a permanent and exclusive commitment to one another, a union of hearts mind and soul and remembering that some principles should be non negotiable.

The power of a Woman

Yes, women need women! We know ourselves and we understand each other and see the world through different eyes. There are women who have met insurmountable odds in order to achieve some of the biggest dreams possible. But the real women who have achieved the most success are the ones who have inspirational stories who have overcome everyday challenges and have  grown not only in their self esteem but also in the sense of who they are and what they contribute to their world.  Today more than ever women are reaching out breaking all the molds and speaking out for other women. In today's world we  face challenges never before faced by any generation.  A very high divorce rate, high percentages of  single mothers struggling to make ends meet and leaving young children in care.The filthiness of the world that has led women to believe that "things"and "image" are more important than our emotional well being. The misconception that we as women need the perfect family,  husband and job in order to be all things to an all fallen world. We bear children we have periods we raise families while we juggle work, life, love and careers. In the most difficult times in my life is where I found all things both lost and hidden. Through darkness, tears and misfortune came a light and a hope. I did not see myself as a failed person but as a person who had been failed. I believe that we have what no man has, a gift that God gave to us. Unconditional love and courage! So leave no woman behind, when one falls we as women should not scoff but band together to pull her up. We should not be singular but universal, as Pink said in her song"were not broken just bent." If you see a woman who is slightly bent  reach out and support her and straighten her frame. Leave none behind and if your blessed, don't stop there, help to be a blessing in another's life. This blog is especially dedicated to all the women who picked me up and nurtured me when I had not only fallen, but lost my way through a difficult time. For all the women who stopped to guide and support me who lent of their time and energy to invest their love and time to pick me up. You all know who you are as there is too many to name.

Prabhath Avadhanula I wander on these crowded roads Wander through these streets Lie in fields of lonely rows Sown in empty seed. And what I need Is the power of a woman The healing of her touch Those eyes that bring redemption To every one of us. And all I need Is the summer of her solace The fall of her gaze The winter snows of her concerns That blossoms spring to change. I need her hand to guide me To a higher star And hold me back again When I have strayed too far. And when that commotion hurries This world to dissaray Give me the power of a woman And I will be okay.

An error will not necessarily be an end

An  error is not an end there are 365 days in a year,
365 days to remember to laugh to cry to live to challenge or regret.

There are endless hours upon hours where we may stay floating on that one memory from the past life that we may neither change nor alter.

One fatal decision to walk away or stay,
 A moment where just a split second saves you or destroys you.  One fatal moment when one unknowing act unravels such havoc and turmoil in our lives that it take us years to unravel the mystery in which we find ourselves.
A chance we didn't take, a risk we should have walked away from but did not.

There really is only one time for everything, unlike the carnival games where five dollars gets you multiple chances life has only one today one yesterday and only one tomorrow for which we can only live in that moment in time. 

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“And it's a disquieting thought that not even the past is done with, even that continues to change, as if in reality there is only one time, for everything, one time for every purpose under heaven. One single second, one single landscape, in which what happens activates and deactivates what has already happened in endless chain reactions, like the processes that take place in the brain, perhaps, where cells suddenly bloom and die away, all according to the way the winds of consciousness are blowing.” 

― Karl Ove Knausgård, A Time for Everything