"the fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose".

This year with the Holidays soon approaching give the gift of Giving and Gratitude.

1. Give of yourself 
 Give generously of your time buy someone a coffee, lend a friend a hand, drop off someone on your way home. Change the direction of your usual pattern and stop and go the other way. The change to yourself is often the most unexpected of gifts. 

2. Speak words of Gratitude and Thanks
Tell the ones who support you how much you appreciate them, whether it be friend or spouse, child or co-worker. Go the long mile.... pick up the phone and make that call. Drop off an unexpected gift or coffee, make dinner for someone.

3. Mend the broken
 You just might mend your own as you go. Do the unexpected for not only the ones you love but the ones who you don't. Call that person whom you put on the back-burner, the one you said you would never call again. Donate to a charity that you don't belong to, often the ones who need us most are friends who are to proud to ask. The single mother or family who is struggling, or a church. Be a friend or a comfort to others, loneliness silently breaks the soul.

Start the gift of Giving and Gratitude today..... take the test.... do it for 30 days and let me know what happens.....  I look forward to your comments.
 This year for Christmas reach-deeper than your pockets -reach for your hearts.

Heda bejar-- said it best..... "the fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose".
Let your hands this year tell your story...... 

Are your resolutions failing...

 It’s that time of year again where the promises we made to ourselves at the midnight hour have come back to haunt us. We saw the changes vivid in our minds, that new job, the new romantic lover or our new fit bodies. This all sounds great as we stare at the words we wrote down in our journals or scribbled on a napkin but unfortunately it's likely as the weeks have already passed most of us have failed before we ever began.

 Everyone should go through life with that intoxicating feeling for something. Why settle for mediocre when we can have it all. Start by having realistic expectations, when you say you want to do or change something about your life you must want it with a desire to surpass anything to achieve it. With all change there comes a time when the mountain appears larger than the valley and if your emotional health and state of mind is not fully committed than your resolve will easily be worn down making your resolutions nothing but a faded disaster.

 You don’t have to wait till December 31 to make a life change; here are 5 easy steps to a successful new future year. Use a journal to write down realistic goals for the promising year and then follow through with an action plan. Be honest with yourself and prioritize the things which you think will impact your life the most giving priority to kick any bad habits which would be beneficial to your health. Getting healthy is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. Choose only 2-3 realistic goals and then equip yourself with a concrete plan to bring them to fruition. Often times we make long lists that in the end we are not emotionally equipped to handle. Put on a shield of armor to help protect your beliefs and visions even from your own doubts or failure. Equip yourself daily with mental affirmations to get you through any stumbling blocks. Never give up on yourself, when you fail get back up on the horse and try again. Our mistakes do not define us as people, our determination and resolve does.
 Now put it into practice and imagine yourself living a new and refreshed lifestyle with no regrets. It’s your life and you set the pace and the rules, have fun and don’t give up on any dreams no matter how big or small.

Getting Wild Helps Shape Kids Worldview

Sunday, October 11, 2015 Getting Wild Helps Shape Kids Worldview Exploring nature provides children with many learning opportunities enriching their lives and giving them a deep foundation of their sense of self and the world around them. The lives of children today are much different having few opportunities for outdoor free play and regular contact with the natural world. Their physical boundaries have shrunk due to a number of factors. There are fewer opportunities to explore the natural world and its playing field. Our technological world has taken over the minds of our children that once played outside shifting the focus to a culture that imprisons as a result inhibiting a child’s opportunity for spontaneous contact with the most natural playground being nature. Loris Malaguzzi an educational teacher who became the inspiration behind the educational experiences in Reggio Emilia is quoted as saying, “All of this is a great forest. Inside the forest is the child. The forest is beautiful, fascinating, green, and full of hope; there are no paths. Although it isn’t easy, we have to make our own paths, as teachers and children and families, in the forest. Sometimes we find ourselves together within the forest, sometimes we may get lost from each other, sometimes we’ll greet each other from far away across the forest; but its living together in the forest that is important. And this living together in not easy.” Loris Malaguzzi I see the forest as being a meaningful teacher where learning can take place providing a world of opportunity for children to co-exist with and in nature. The learning and the Dialogue that exist when children play outdoors is a partnership that allows children to develop a language with nature that leads them to further grow and make sense out of life. This form of joint venture that transpires has no boundaries as children get lost in a world of their own requiring no direction from adults but taking on their own leads and building theories about nature and what their part in its co-existence is. There is a new approach to nature-based education, this new movement offers us a small glimpse of what childhood used to be and can still be. And so there we have it, more and more educators and families are learning that nature has a purpose in learning and child development, building a sense of self and identify and meaningful living. The fall months especially offer a kaleidoscope of beauty in which we can with our children partake of natures secrets, take your children outside and let them experience the world and its beautiful bounty and watch as nature becomes your child’s teacher. “creativity seems to emerge from multiple experiences, coupled with a well-supported development of personal resources, including a sense of freedom to venture beyond the known” (Malaguzzi, 1998, p. 76). Learning in and with nature, is venturing beyond the known. It leads us to forge a path of possibilities, but as Malaguzzi suggests in the opening quote, we have to make our own paths, as teachers and children and families, in the forest.

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Smoking Mirror

Can we really see into the windows of our soul? What do our eyes really say about us?
Do we all walk around with a mask? If our eyes could talk would we say what our hearts could not?
Life is an open door what we choose to do with it is the million dollar question. Do we invite people in or do we simply co-exit in a manner that allows us to masquerade as the world would have us?
Everything in life is a mirror that creates the images we portray. If we portray images of light and well being we become those things. If we portray shame or humiliation we also become those things. What are you seeing when you glance into the mirror? In order to receive you must first believe, you must first declare that all your beliefs about yourself are true. So what are you declaring about yourself, may just be what others see as they look into your eyes. We cannot hide what the mirror of our soul reflects and that is your eyes.So if you want your inner self and your outer self to match you need to balance the good with the bad.Once you make this realization the smoky mirror begins to clear and there you will see your true self.

So today, ask yourself if what you feel about yourself on the inside is what reflects yourself on the outside. We can all display a perfect outer shell but what lies beneath will always slip through the cracks and be revealed.

So be true to yourself and live the most authentic life possible and become what your inner self is. No more lies or deceit, but embrace yourself with all your flaws. we are all on the eternal search for truth, let that truth however painful propel you into wholeness. its just life ... what you living 4 today?

Why are so many marriages failing?

Why are so many marriages failing?

It’s twelve midnight and Cinderella’s shoe has fallen, but how many men would stop now days to pick it up. There’s a big ball going on out there but who’s invited? What is the criterion for the ball list? Tall, lean, busty, handsome, blonde or brunette how many of us really fall short of the list? They say that beauty is skin deep. But is there more to it than meets the eye, even Cinderella was transformed before going to the ball. She certainly didn’t show up in her old tattered clothes. Has society really placed such importance on the superficial exterior of our beings?

Wedding Bells are ringing but what are the chimes saying, “Ding Dong” or “something’s wrong.” For better or for worse is soon to be transformed into, for better or sex better”. What happened to commitment and lifelong companionship and trustworthy values and morals? Has society misplaced marriage and in its stead brought out the value system where a scale rating for the next best thing is what is expected. Has sex taken over the very mighty principles of a stead fast relationship?

It is estimated that 40-50% of all marriages will end in divorce. Are you still reading? This is almost half if not more. There are many different factors for divorce, marrying at an early age, lack of commitment, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, infidelity, lack of equality, lack of respect and in some cases abuse of one’s partner. There are many marriages that go through trial and tribulations and with good sound counseling they are back on track in their marriages more committed than ever. Divorce is at times necessary, and it may even be crucial for one’s well being and safety.

Interestingly enough when couples were asked in a survey how they felt about their divorce a number of individuals reported that they had wished that their spouse had tried harder to work things out. Although divorce is sometimes inevitable parents do have the responsibility to do all they can to preserve and repair a failed marriage for the sake of children. Now with that said, what about the preservation of our own selves, if there are no children in a marriage are we ourselves not worthy to be fought for or preserved?

 Infidelity is one of highest factors for divorce in our country, with one or both spouses having been sexually unfaithful in the marriage. Do we really live in a sexually tolerant society where being faithful is the minority and having relationships outside marriage has become the common drive thru? Has sex become such a common staple that we can line up in a drive thru in a Tim Horton’s Coffee shop and get one on the run; or choose the new flavor of the month? Infidelity is morally wrong but so is a lack of commitment or lack of caring, or with holding affection.

Have we as a society stopped believing in fairytales? Metaphorically speaking, did Cinderella lose more than a shoe; did Prince charming simply forget what side of the greener grass to look for it? A Marriage is a relationship which is built on a solid respectful friendship that meets the needs of two people, the joining of a non disputable bond of “until death do us part”. So how do you manage the problems that arise in marriage? We need to remember that marriage is a union of a man and a woman who make a permanent and exclusive commitment to one another, a union of hearts mind and soul and remembering that some principles should be non negotiable.

The power of a Woman

Yes, women need women! We know ourselves and we understand each other and see the world through different eyes. There are women who have met insurmountable odds in order to achieve some of the biggest dreams possible. But the real women who have achieved the most success are the ones who have inspirational stories who have overcome everyday challenges and have  grown not only in their self esteem but also in the sense of who they are and what they contribute to their world.  Today more than ever women are reaching out breaking all the molds and speaking out for other women. In today's world we  face challenges never before faced by any generation.  A very high divorce rate, high percentages of  single mothers struggling to make ends meet and leaving young children in care.The filthiness of the world that has led women to believe that "things"and "image" are more important than our emotional well being. The misconception that we as women need the perfect family,  husband and job in order to be all things to an all fallen world. We bear children we have periods we raise families while we juggle work, life, love and careers. In the most difficult times in my life is where I found all things both lost and hidden. Through darkness, tears and misfortune came a light and a hope. I did not see myself as a failed person but as a person who had been failed. I believe that we have what no man has, a gift that God gave to us. Unconditional love and courage! So leave no woman behind, when one falls we as women should not scoff but band together to pull her up. We should not be singular but universal, as Pink said in her song"were not broken just bent." If you see a woman who is slightly bent  reach out and support her and straighten her frame. Leave none behind and if your blessed, don't stop there, help to be a blessing in another's life. This blog is especially dedicated to all the women who picked me up and nurtured me when I had not only fallen, but lost my way through a difficult time. For all the women who stopped to guide and support me who lent of their time and energy to invest their love and time to pick me up. You all know who you are as there is too many to name.

Prabhath Avadhanula I wander on these crowded roads Wander through these streets Lie in fields of lonely rows Sown in empty seed. And what I need Is the power of a woman The healing of her touch Those eyes that bring redemption To every one of us. And all I need Is the summer of her solace The fall of her gaze The winter snows of her concerns That blossoms spring to change. I need her hand to guide me To a higher star And hold me back again When I have strayed too far. And when that commotion hurries This world to dissaray Give me the power of a woman And I will be okay.

An error will not necessarily be an end

An  error is not an end there are 365 days in a year,
365 days to remember to laugh to cry to live to challenge or regret.

There are endless hours upon hours where we may stay floating on that one memory from the past life that we may neither change nor alter.

One fatal decision to walk away or stay,
 A moment where just a split second saves you or destroys you.  One fatal moment when one unknowing act unravels such havoc and turmoil in our lives that it take us years to unravel the mystery in which we find ourselves.
A chance we didn't take, a risk we should have walked away from but did not.

There really is only one time for everything, unlike the carnival games where five dollars gets you multiple chances life has only one today one yesterday and only one tomorrow for which we can only live in that moment in time. 

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“And it's a disquieting thought that not even the past is done with, even that continues to change, as if in reality there is only one time, for everything, one time for every purpose under heaven. One single second, one single landscape, in which what happens activates and deactivates what has already happened in endless chain reactions, like the processes that take place in the brain, perhaps, where cells suddenly bloom and die away, all according to the way the winds of consciousness are blowing.” 

― Karl Ove Knausgård, A Time for Everything